


leaving it up to you

by QuietLittleVoices



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: College era, Gay Bar, Getting Together, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 08:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20224645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietLittleVoices/pseuds/QuietLittleVoices
Summary: Jack ends up at a gay bar because Lily bets him he can't hook up without falling in love. And then he meets Sammy, who's maybe the best thing that's ever happened to him.





	leaving it up to you

**Author's Note:**

> just... two guys bein dudes........

Jack would rather be anywhere else than at the club. He wasn’t even sure anymore if it was worth it. Lily accused him of being too introverted sometimes but it wasn’t the club atmosphere itself that was putting him on edge - he’d been to a lot of straight bars and clubs with the guys on the rugby team, but there was no pressure in that. He wasn’t expecting to and didn’t want to go home with anyone unless they were his DD. 

The problem was that this was a gay club and he wasn’t kind of, maybe, sort of hoping to go home with someone. Possibly. 

Lily had always made fun of him because she had no problem picking up, and despite the fact that Jack got lots of offers he usually didn’t follow through. It wasn’t something he could explain to her, though, even though he thought she might know him well enough to understand that he always got in too deep too quick to do anything in half measures.

Jack took a deep breath and finally pushed his way to the bar, waving the bartender over and just getting a beer. The guy next to him looked him over appreciatively and Jack took a sip, pretending he hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t dressed up for this - that would have meant putting some value onto it, some  _ meaning _ that he didn’t want to - so he was just in jeans and a black t-shirt that was, sure, maybe a little too tight. Just because he was uncomfortable didn’t mean he wasn’t aware of what he had to show. 

He looked across the bar to scan the crowd, trying to look casual about it. Most people were in pairs or small groups, either because they’d arrived together or already had some luck, Jack couldn’t be sure. There was one other guy alone, though, looking just as uncomfortable as Jack felt. He was a bit taller than the guys sitting around him, his shoulders hunched in around his beer and his shaggy hair falling in front of his face so that Jack couldn’t get a good look. He wondered idly if the guy could pull his hair back into a small ponytail, and for a brief moment Jack wondered about running his hands through it before he turned away from the bar, trying to look casual while he leaned back with one elbow on the sticky surface.

It was… too much. The dance floor was sparsely populated, and no one looked alone. Jack took to sipping his drink faster so he could feel less guilty about bailing. A couple people looked his way but didn’t come over and Jack - Jack had never been one to make the first move. He’d gotten too many comments in high school about what a ‘lady killer’ he must be to feel comfortable asking anyone to - do anything. It all just felt like playing into that image people had of him, even though he’d be asking other men. 

He finally finished his beer and left the glass on the bar, noticing that the dark haired guy across the bar had already left. Jack sighed internally even though he knew he’d never have gotten up the courage to talk to him before he walks out of the bar. He started to walk down the block to call a taxi before he noticed the dark haired guy from inside standing on the corner and smoking. 

Jack took a deep breath and put his phone back in his pocket, walking over to him. “Hi,” he said, already wanting to twist his face up and walk away. “I’m Jack?”

The guy turned quickly, startled, and for a moment his face was illuminated by the street light. Jack hadn’t gotten a good look at his face in the crowded and dark bar but now he was almost struck silent. His hair was swept back, not quite able to be tucked behind his ears but pushed in that direction. A few wisps were falling over his forehead and into his green eyes, which he immediately reached to push up and back with a small grimace before smiling crookedly at Jack.

“Hi?” he responds lightly, dropping his cigarette and putting it out with his shoe. “I’m Sammy. Have to say I’m surprised you’re out here.”

“Why?” Jack asked. 

The guy - Sammy - shrugged and ducked his head. Jack immediately wished he’d look up again so he could - could what? Jack pushed that down and settled against the gross brick wall next to them. “Just. You’re so -” Sammy gestured towards Jack. “Can’t believe no one was willing.”

It was Jack’s turn to shrug as he felt his mouth tightened. “A little more than appearance goes into it. No one ever seems to want to listen when I start talking about my theories about ghosts.”

“I would,” Sammy says, suddenly sounding far too serious for outside a gay bar in the middle of the night. 

Jack laughs because he can’t think of what else to do. “Well. There might be a better venue for that than here.”

Sammy pulls a phone out of his pocket. “There’s this coffee shop a few blocks away there’s open twenty-four hours. Did you maybe want to -”

“Yes,” Jack says quickly. 

They’re quiet as Sammy calls the cab, and quiet during the ride. But as soon as they’ve got cups of coffee and are sitting in the nearly-empty coffee shop, Sammy asks what he  _ does _ think about ghosts and Jack - Jack tells him. 

The sun is up before Jack is back at the apartment, and Lily is sitting on the couch with a bowl of cereal.

“Someone had a successful night,” she teases and Jack feels himself blush.

“Yeah. I guess so.”

It takes Jack less than a day to realize that he never got Sammy’s number. He sleeps through the morning but makes sure to wake up by noon so he doesn’t irrevocably fuck up his sleep schedule, and it’s while he’s doing his readings for class on Monday that he realizes it. 

Maybe it’s what he deserves. He went out trying to prove to Lily that he could just choose someone and not end up catching feelings immediately, and he ended up -

Jack tries to push it out and just focus on his readings. 

Lily notices his moping because of course she does. “Don’t tell me it’s a guy,” she begs, and Jack just groans and pulls his pillow over his head. He feels the bed dip and Lily’s head hit his shoulder as she sighs. “What’s his name?”

Jack mumbles into the mattress and she nudges him so he reluctantly turns his head. “Sammy,” he mutters.

“Is this the guy you hooked up with on Saturday?” 

Jack doesn’t respond which is a worse idea than any lie he could have told me Lily shifts and shoves his side. “ _ Dude _ . Did you not even hook up? Have you guys been talking more?”

Jack debates if it’s worth answering truthfully and knows that she’d find out, somehow, anyway. “Never got his number.”

Lily groans and lies back down. “I really can’t understand you, you know.”

Jack has finally, just barely, pushed Sammy out his head by Tuesday. He doesn’t look when someone sits next to him as he’s pulling out his notebook but it’s a pretty packed class, usually, but then a voice that is far too familiar for how little he’s heard it speaks up.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Sammy says, and Jack sits up quickly, spinning around. 

“Oh my god,” Jack says against his own will. “Have you been in this class all semester? How come I never saw you before?”

Sammy shrugs. “I try not to be noticed. I usually sit in the back,” he adds with a tilt of his head. “But I just - I don’t normally - I’m bad at talking to people. But I wanted to maybe talk to you again? And we never -”

Jack rips a page out of his notebook quickly and writes down his number. “I’d like that, too,” he agrees, pushing it towards Sammy. 

Sammy grins and quickly puts Jack’s number into his phone, sending a text to make sure Jack has his. “Are you free tonight?”

“I am now,” Jack says quickly, feeling his face heat up at his own eagerness, but the way Sammy smiles at him makes it worth it.

Jack’s always been one to jump in feet first but he’s pretty sure that even he hasn’t gotten so completely wrapped up in another person so fast before, and they aren’t even dating. They got dinner after class on Tuesday and it was - great. Most of the time when Jack went anywhere it was with some grouping of the rugby team, and they weren’t exactly interested in hearing the finer points of Jack’s side-research into sightings of shadow people. Sammy was a self-avowed skeptic, sure, but he still listened and looked  _ interested _ , which was something Jack had never gotten from anyone before. 

It turned out that they had class together on Wednesday and Thursday, too, so he didn’t even really have to text Sammy. They didn’t go out for food again - student budgets limited both of them - but they walked back to Sammy’s apartment on Thursday since they were both off for the day and watched a few movies. 

On Friday Sammy calls him and invites him to study at the library and on the weekend they go to some art exhibit that Sammy had heard about before hanging out in the park. They just don’t - stop talking. When Jack isn’t with Sammy they end up texting or on the phone and Lily finally has enough with Jack grinning at his phone.

“Is this still that guy?” she demands when Jack’s pulled his phone out for the fourth time during their mandated sibling Colbert Report watching. “Sammy or whatever?”

Jack felt his face fall as he quickly shoved his phone back in his pocket. “No.”

Lily reached to try and grab his phone so Jack pulled it back out of his pocket and held it over his head. “If you’re gonna lie to me, don’t act so  _ guilty _ . Do are you guys dating or what? Because you sure haven’t spent the night out. Unless -”

“How would you know?” Jack asks, standing up as she gets on her knees to try and snatch his phone. “You were out on Wednesday  _ and _ Thursday. I could have gone then.”

Lily paused her attempts to grab the phone to give him a skeptical raised eyebrow. “You didn’t though.”

Jack sighs. “Yeah, it’s Sammy. He’s - he’s a great guy. We’re friends.”

Lily groans dramatically and stands up on the couch, putting her nearly at eye-level with Jack. “I can’t fucking believe you, going out to get  _ laid _ and getting a wholesome friendship. Who even are you?”

Jack cringes and Lily takes the opportunity to jump and grab his phone out of his hand, landing with a stumble and a noise of triumph. “Don’t talk about me -”

“Getting some, for once?” she asks, quickly opening his phone and going to his messages. She gags dramatically. “You guys were  _ studying _ ? You went on a  _ walk _ ?” She tosses the phone on the couch and Jack grabs it quickly, double checking she didn’t send anything. There wasn’t enough time but - he could never be too careful with her. “Sometimes I wonder if you were switched at birth.”

Jack sticks his tongue out at her. “Maybe  _ you _ were.”

“You’re just mad that I get more action than you,” Lily says with a flip of her hair, and Jack quickly makes his exit to his room so he can text Sammy back.

Three months after they meet, Sammy suggests that they go to the bar again. Together this time.

“I dunno,” Sammy says with a shrug, avoiding looking at Jack directly when Jack asks him  _ why _ . His hair’s longer than it was when they met and it falls out from behind his ears, throwing a shadow over his face and Jack wants nothing more than to reach over and push it back. “Maybe if we’re both there we can like - wingman?” Sammy’s mouth twists up like that doesn’t sound fun at the same time as Jack’s stomach drops. “Or, like. We’d feel better because we weren’t alone? Maybe?”

Jack isn’t sure that he follows Sammy’s logic, but from the uncomfortable set of his shoulders he’s pretty sure that Sammy doesn’t, either. He agrees anyway even though he doesn’t really want to.

They go that Friday. Jack was honestly ready to forget about it, since Sammy had brought it up on Tuesday, but Sammy showed up at Jack and Lily’s apartment dressed similarly to how he had been when they met. Just jeans and a t-shirt - same as Jack - but. Nicer than usual. The jeans fit him… really well. Not that Jack notices.

Lily is home but as soon as Jack realizes why Sammy is there he runs for his wallet and keys and gets out of the apartment ASAP so that she can’t say anything. She gives him a weird look, clearly not prepared to let the behaviour slide, but Jack makes a break for it.

The drive to the bar is… not awkward, but quiet. Jack decides to drive, which means he won’t have more than one beer, but he was pretty sure they weren’t planning on staying for much longer than that anyway. Jack goes to the bar to grab them two drinks while Sammy finds them a table off to the side. It’s still early - about ten thirty - so there aren’t too many people but it’s still loud. 

Jack looks out, trying to scope out the crowd, but he finds himself aware that Sammy’s forearm is resting against his elbow. “Did you wanna go up there?” Sammy asks, voice low but he still manages to startle Jack since he’s leaned up  _ right _ to Jack’s head. 

Jack shakes his head mutely and leans back, tilting his head to speak into Sammy’s ear. “Not yet. Maybe after this.” Sammy nods and for just a second his hair brushes against Jack’s face and he notices how soft it is before he sits back up straight in his chair and takes a  _ long _ drink from the beer. 

They end up just people watching, leaning close towards each other to trade comments, and when Jack is done his beer Sammy asks again. “Do you wanna go out there?” 

Jack thinks about it for a second and shakes his head. “No - I’m just not feeling it tonight. You can, though, I’ll hold the table.”

Sammy smiles but there’s something to it - maybe it’s the general discomfort they’re both feeling in the bar, but Jack can’t tell. He pushes his hair back behind his ear. “I think I wanna just head out. Did you wanna get something to eat?”

“That sounds great,” Jack says with a grin, standing up quickly and helping Sammy make their way out of the now-crowded bar. 

Jack drives them to the same diner as before, and it’s a lot nicer than trying to yell over the sounds of the bar and the pounding music. They sit on opposite sides of the booth, though, and Jack finds that he kind of wishes Sammy were next to him like they had been. 

Jack knows he has a lot of bad habits. Sometimes he forgets to eat because he’s gotten so absorbed in a project that he forgot he had a body, he bites his nails and then files them down far too low, he stays awake all night compiling documents about modern sightings of bigfoot.

Jack sits back from his laptop screen and pushes the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to ease some of the soreness. He realizes all at once that it’s two AM and he has class in six hours. He could - he should try to get some sleep. But that’s never exactly been his forte. He puts his laptop on the coffee table and lays down in his bed fully clothed but he just feels his head spirling.

Lily had been getting on his case about how he and Sammy were an old married couple and all she’d wanted was for him to just find a dude to hook up with. Not that she knew it, but he  _ had _ done that before - it just wasn’t so brief by his own choice. Jack knew that guys - and a lot of straight women - were interested in him. If he’d wanted to, he easily could have gone home with someone the night he met Sammy. But it wasn’t what he wanted, and very few people were willing to stick around when he ended up exhausted and sick from neglecting himself while on the hunt for some new weird thing his brain had latched on to. Jack understood - it was a lot to ask of someone, and he didn’t want someone to mother him. That didn’t make it hurt less.

Almost without meaning to, Jack found himself hitting Sammy’s number in his phone. He was about to hang up immediately when it clicked on and Sammy’s voice came through sounding concerned.

“Hello? Jack? Is something wrong?” 

Jack takes a deep, shaky breath. “Did you wanna get, uh, a really early breakfast?”

Jack hears a lot of shifting on Sammy’s end before he answers. “Sure. Usual place in fifteen?”

“That sounds great,” Jack agrees, finally letting out his breath. 

Jack gets there first and ordered two coffees. The waitress had just come back with them when Sammy walked in and Jack… almost didn’t recognize him for just a split second. 

He didn’t know that Sammy wore glasses.

Sammy slides in across from him and dumps milk and sugar into his coffee before taking a grateful sip and smiling at Jack and Jack feels his heart jump in his chest in a way he hadn’t expected. Sammy takes the glasses off for a second to wipe the steam off and then puts them back on. “Sorry, I’m not used to them anymore. I haven’t worn them regularly since high school but I didn’t want to put contacts in at three in the morning.”

Jack feels his mouth go dry and he takes a sip of coffee. “I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

Sammy shrugs and Jack realizes that he can see a seam at his shoulder from having pulled the shirt on inside-out, probably in the dark. So that he could come talk to Jack. Because he knew that Jack wasn’t feeling ok. And that… that also makes Jack feel something he doesn’t want to think about. “I wear contacts now. I never thought that glasses really fit my face.”

“I like them,” Jack says quickly, and then ducks his head to drink more coffee before he can say anything else. 

When Jack looks back up Sammy has a small smile on his face. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The waitress comes by and Jack orders pancakes, because he forgot to check the menu but those were probably fine. Sammy actually pulls the menu across the table and ends up ordering something with sausage and eggs and toast. 

“Was there something you wanted to talk about?” Sammy asks when she leaves. “Or did you want a distraction?”

Jack suddenly can’t remember why he’d called Sammy at all. It seems so trivial when he’s just realized - something. Something maybe big. “Distraction,” he says, because he isn’t sure he’s ready to broach the topic of ‘I was despairing at my inability to have relationships and maybe just realized you’re the guy of my dreams, which means you definitely don’t feel the same’.

Yeah. Definitely not ready. 

“Okay,” Sammy says reassuringly. “I started this book yesterday that actually made me think about you and I meant to tell you.”

Jack listens while Sammy tells him about it even though he got little more than the title of the book - which he dutifully wrote out on a napkin and put in his pocket. He wanted to know everything Samy had to tell, of course. He always did. But he couldn’t get over the fact that he’d called and Sammy had answered, Sammy had shown up. 

It’s almost seven thirty when Jack stumbles back into the apartment and faceplants on his bed. Sure he has class in thirty minutes but he can survive missing it, and it’s not one he shares with Sammy anyway. 

Lily knocks and opens the door without waiting for an answer. “Where were you?”

Jack rolls over, taking a pillow with him to put over his own face. He hopes idly that it might smother him so that he doesn’t have to answer, but he doesn’t have any luck with that. “Out.”

“Are you seventeen?” she asks, and when he moves the pillow and looks up she’s got her arms crossed.

“I don’t have to tell you everything,  _ mom _ ,” he mutters.

Lily rolls her eyes. “Were you with Sammy?”

Jack groans and pulls the pillow back over his face. “Yes.”

“You’re gonna have to speak up.”

Jack throws the pillow in her general direction but hears the telltale thud of it hitting the wall softly and sliding to the ground. “Yes! Yes I was with Sammy. I couldn’t sleep, so I called him, and he said he was already awake but -”

Lily sighs and walks over to sit on the side of his bed. “You’re in trouble.”

“I  _ know _ ,” Jack says miserably. “I think I love him.”

“I think that ship’s long since sailed,” Lily replies. “You’re just realizing this now.”

Jack nods and closes his eyes.

“Oh, c’mon, don’t cry,” Lily begs.

“I wasn’t going to,” Jack says petulantly, and Lily flicks the side of his head. “Ouch! Now I might!”

“Are you gonna cry to mom?” Lily asks, jumping up and running back to the door before Jack can reach out to grab her. “I can’t believe we’re related. Just tell him - it’s  _ so _ obvious he feels the same way. You literally have nothing to lose and then you’ll at least be out of my hair.”

Lily shuts the door behind her when she leaves and Jack grabs his second pillow to scream into it, just a little bit. Not enough for the neighbours to hear, hopefully, but enough to get it out of his system. Lily knocks on the wall and Jack sighs before trying to fall asleep.

Jack just… lives with that information for a few months. Every time he sees Sammy it feels like there’s something warm in his chest slowly expanding and it doesn’t ever get better. He’d kind of hoped it was an exhaustion-fueled delusion and he hadn’t actually been thinking about his best friend  _ that way _ in a diner they went to regularly. The next time they went Jack was just thankful they were seated in a different booth because he wasn’t sure what he might’ve done otherwise. 

He doesn’t try to figure out if Sammy does feel the same way, the way that Lily said. Sammy acts the same around him as he always has, so… it seems unlikely. That’s just how Sammy was, and even if he was  _ attracted _ to Jack, someone just being attracted to him hadn’t turned out so great in the past. If he had any feelings for Jack then his behaviour would have changed at some point, but then again Jack was keeping very sure that he didn’t do anything different now that he knew. Turned out it was easy enough, because he’s probably been in love for a lot longer than he’d realized. And it was easier to do things out of friendship without thinkin when you didn’t even know that you felt something else besides that. 

Everything suddenly becomes a puzzle that Jack can only see half of. Could he buy Sammy’s coffee? He would have a month ago but was that because he didn’t realize he liked him? Did friends do that? Even with things he knows are normal, like coffee, he second guesses himself at every turn.  _ Will this be the thing that makes him realize? _

Above everything, Jack wants desperately to make Sammy feel even half of what Jack did the night at the diner. When Sammy showed up. He just doesn’t know how, so he keeps buying coffee and keeps picking up little nick nacks that remind him of Sammy.

And then Sammy has to go and bring up the club again. He looks more determined this time, his jaw set and his hair pulled into a very small ponytail with the bottom half falling out. “We’ll at least get up,” Sammy says decisively, and Jack can’t help but agree even though he wants nothing less than to watch Sammy dance with other guys.

“You know you have to tell him if you want to do anything about it,” Lily reminds him. “He can’t read your mind. You can’t be upset that he wants to get with guys when you aren’t showing any interest, especially with how  _ completely obvious _ he is. He’s just trying to move on.”

“I don’t think he is,” Jack argues weakly. “He’s just - we’re each other’s first gay guy friends, it’s a bit diferent for us. He doesn’t actually feel anything else for me.”

“He’s gonna find someone if you don’t say anything,” Lily says. “And then what will you do? Will you be okay with that? Even if he  _ doesn’t _ \- which he  _ does _ \- you need to tell him for yourself. So that if that happens you’ll at least know if you had a shot and don’t agonize over it.”

“I hate that,” Jack replies evenly. “What if instead I don’t say anything and then disappear under mysterious circumstances so that I don’t have to deal with it?”

Lily hits him with the couch pillow. “You’re so fucking dramatic.”

Something is immediately different this time around when Jack pulls up at the bar. Sammy doesn’t go towards the tables like last time, he grabs Jack’s arm and forces him towards the dance floor. 

It’s really awkward at first. Jack isn’t sure  _ how _ he’s meant to move and Sammy clearly isn’t either, but they end up falling into a rhythm half-facing each other. It only takes a few minutes for them both to loosen up a little and start leaning in to talk, even though they both stay slightly turned away. 

And then someone comes over and looks like he’s about to say something to Sammy. And Jack… has a harder time with that than he expected. He moves between them without thinking, ending up chest to chest with Sammy, putting a hand on his hip to make it clear they’re there together. Sammy looks up at him questioningly as the guy shrugs and moves away, and keeps looking when Jack  _ doesn’t _ .

“Didn’t like the look of him.” Jack mutters, mouth right at Sammy’s ear so that Sammy’s hair brushes the side of his face. 

Sammy doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t move away from Jack, either, so Jack just… stays there. And they dance like that, chest to chest, for longer than Jack tries to pay attention to. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Sammy suggests, and starts to pull Jack with him towards to exit. They get back into Jack’s car quietly and drive back to Sammy’s apartment. “Come up with me?” Sammy asks, even though he doesn’t have to. They usually end up at Sammy’s apartment because he doesn’t have roommates, but tonight… it’s different. He’s not asking that. 

Jack nods and follows him up. They’re quiet in the elevator and down the hallway to Sammy’s apartment. 

There’s a single moment after Jack closes Sammy’s apartment door behind him where neither of them move. They don’t even take their shoes off. And then Sammy puts his hand on Jack’s face. 

It’s Sammy who kisses him first, who crosses the distance that feels insurmountable to Jack. Then there’s a rush to kick their shoes off and remove their jackets while not stopping the kiss as much as possible and Jack can’t help but laugh against Sammy’s mouth.

“What is it?” Sammy asks with a grin.

“Lily called it,” Jack responds, leaning in for another kiss that Sammy pulls away from quickly. “I couldn’t go to a gay bar without falling in love with someone.”

“Oh,” Sammy says, ducking his head, and for just a second Jack thinks he’s said the wrong thing but then Sammy is pushing him against the door and kissing him hard. “For the record, I’m in love with you, too.”

Jack can’t help but kiss him back, trying to walk them back to Sammy’s bedroom. He can’t help but think as he finally gets his hands under Sammy’s shirt that he’s never been so happy to be wrong. 


End file.
